Life is what happens...
I answer to "Pat", "Mom" and "Grandma". I was born in New York City in 1949. My family moved to Long Island in late
1960, and I've been here ever since. I'd like to leave, but traffic is backed
up at the tunnel and the bridge is under construction.
I met my husband, Bob, while we were both studying programming, but I wandered onto the mommy track and neglected to have a career. In 1998 I accidentally became a receptionist and that's what I'm doing now, in addition to a few websites which I do as side projects - some for love and some for money.
My family and I live in what's known in these parts as a mother/daughter house. It's really a two family deal, but not legally approved for renting out to non-family members. The terminology works for us. In the thirty some odd years we've lived here, one of the apartments has always contained a mother, while the other houses her daughter. And then some nowadays.
This blog was inspired by the fact that having traveled a, sometimes rocky, but only minorly winding road for many years, in middle age we seem to have turned onto one that features hairpin turns and a rollercoaster-like assortment of hills and valleys. It seems to me that life consists of nothing but what's happening while we're trying to make other plans. While there are some difficult parts, it's not all bad. Not at all.
Since 2002 we've gone through some changes:
Labor Day Weekend, 2002 -I'm living, as I always have on the ground floor level of our house, mostly just with my husband. Our son lives with his girlfriend and our daughter is planning to remarry and has been out on her own since her first marriage a decade earlier. My mother and sister are occupying the upstairs apartment. My husband falls ill and I take him to the emergency room. He's admitted for what turns out to be the first of four hosptalizations in the next two years, all for different, but serious things. He thought he was healthy in the summer of 2002. Since that time he's lost a kidney, been diagnosed with type I diabetes, suffers a great deal from neuropathy and has had blood clots that required emergency hospitalization.
Late 2002 - Our son's relationship breaks up and he moves back home. Before long he's all but living with a new love, but this time he continues to maintain a room at home - just in case.
Early 2003 - We both have to change jobs. Bob's is outsourced to India. He's told about it the week before he's due to return to work from his kidney surgery. We both find other jobs. His pays much less than the old one and his was the much larger income. So much for those higher earning years. The stress of suspecting what was coming together with the disappearance of back-up options in the years prior to his losing his old job probably contributed to some of his illnesses. He was certainly not a happy camper. The company he works for now is a small one which values each employee's contributions and doesn't have a youth fetish. Net loss of income, which is not chopped liver, but net gain in the life-being-worth-living category.
Middle of 2003 - We're adjusting to everything. We're getting quite used to the empty nest. It's easy and it's quiet. We wonder if we should consider moving to something smaller. Taking both apartments into consideration there are really only four people occupying twelve rooms. Seems wasteful. We have dinner while watching the news on TV every night. Life isn't perfect, but it's pretty good.
Labor Day Weekend, 2003 - My daughter, granddaughter and son-in-law move in with us. Along with their two cats and their bulldog. Suddenly the house went from too big to very, very cramped and crowded. They hope to pay off all debt and save up for a house, which is very difficult in this inflated market. They figure it'll take two years. Oy!
Labor Day Weekend, 2004 - My mother spent most of the summer in the hospital with endocarditis. She can't be living up a flight of stairs anymore. My daughter and her husband decide that they'll just stay. Housing prices continue to climb and when offered the upstairs apartment they're decide to take it. They move in up there and my mother and sister move in with us
Early 2005 - My mother seems to be showing signs of memory loss. As the year goes on it becomes clear that her short term memory is severely damaged. She can't, for instance, remember to take vital medication. It also becomes clear that she must stop driving. She's not happy about that. She recovers some of her physical strength after her illness, but not nearly all of it. She now needs a lot of looking after.
April 2005 - The pesky rash I haven't been able to get rid of is diagnosed as cutaneous t-cell lymphoma. I start a life-long journey of treatment and management of a disease that I've never heard of and neither have most other people.
Also in mid 2005 - Son and significant other decide it's not working. He moves home for real.
July 2005 - Daughter is pronounced officially pregnant by the doctor. We're getting one more resident here at Casa Planes Otros come next February. I hope someone reminds me to update this page when that happens.
This blog might be about anything that comes to mind. It's that kind of blog. But it's dedicated to life's unexpected turns, for good, bad or indifferent, and our efforts to cope with them.
October 2005 - Having returned to work, and still running around managing the maintenence phase of Mycosis Fungoides, I've found that I can't keep up two or three blogs, a number of websites, moderation duties on a forum or two, a mother with needs and work, too. For the time being, this blog will be updated and the other will be on hiatus. That means this one is going to have to accomodate the political side of me. I hope that side can work and play well with the other.
Lego self-portrait created with the help of ReasonablyClever.com
