Blogging will probably be pretty spotty for the next few weeks. The season has begun. There are two trips into the city this week alone, houseguests next weekend and that doesn’t include work or Thanksgiving Day. Then there’ll be the rush to get ready for Christmas. My daughter is helping, though, because she has organizational skills. I don’t know where she got them. She’s like Marilyn Munster - the normal one. It really helps to have people with different skills and abilities in the family. She came downstairs this morning to discuss gifts and shopping.

We have a number of birthdays surrounding the holidays. In fact it’s kind of non-stop from this week through early February. Make that late mid to late February starting this time around. That’s when our grandson is supposed to make his appearance. In a half hour’s time she had plans for gift giving and shopping organized for most of those occasions, including for extended family. She made a chart. I know that sounds obnoxious, but we really need that kind of help.

In an effort to be as efficient as my daughter, I thought that my husband and I could get one thing out of the way. We’ve been invited to an extra event right in the middle of it all. Now, my husband greets root canal with a great deal more equanimity than he does even the most low key socializing. The holidays are pretty stressful for him. An extra thing - with a somewhat different group of people - I knew how he was going to feel about that. But it’s something that we sort of have to go to. Or at least it’s something that means a lot to someone we care about. So, I suggested that we have the fight now.

The pattern we follow is that he agrees to go to things like this when I tell him about them. Sometimes he makes a face, sometimes there’s a deep sigh, sometime he says it sounds like fun. That varies but the day of the event is always the same. He’ll get pensive. He’ll try not to be grumpy, but some grouchiness will show through. I always bite and ask him what the matter is, even though I know perfectly well what it is. Then he says he doesn’t feel well. I ask about that. He says he doesn’t think he can go to whatever it is. Then it’s on. We go around for a while. We’re both upset and in the end, we go. We often have a pretty good time.

He agreed to have the fight today instead of in a couple of weeks. He tried to get into it and showed self-knowlege I didn’t know he had. He said all the same stupid stuff he says when it’s spontaneous. I ran through my roster of reactions. We kind of rushed through the script a little but we other things to do today. This is one of the great advantages to a long marriage. You know your conversations and fights by heart can get them out of the way quickly. You can even do them by yourself if your partner isn’t available. I have a lot of arguments with him that he doesn’t ever even know about. The sad thing is that I don’t always win, even when I’m having the fight by myself. My husband is stubborn, even in absentia.