All of life’s a circle, they say. When you’re a baby you need naps, often don’t sleep through the night and any little discomfort makes sleep impossible to come by until exhaustion overwhelms everything else. Well, in middle age - here we are again. I would have been a world class sleeper from my youth until about age forty or so, if only they’d given out prizes for it. I could sleep through anything. Somewhere along the line, like many women in my age group, I lost the ability to sleep through the night. At about the same time, I developed the propensity to doze off in the early part of the afternoon. It’s unfortunate that I’m almost never in a convenient situation for a nap at that time. I’m usually at my desk at work on weekdays or out in the car doing errands on the weekend. Normally, I get up a few times a night, but it’s brief. I’m still great at going to sleep. It’s staying there that’s become a problem. Tonight, I’m uncomfortable. Not miserable, nor in any real pain. Just uncomfortable and sleep is eluding me altogether.

I’ve completed seven full days of radiation, which makes me about a third of the way through. I think things are going according to plan. I see the radiologist/oncologist once a week, on Tuesday. He wasn’t thrilled this first time, because he felt that my clothes were irritating the only seriously raised area that I’ve got. It’s in a very inconvenient place. Right on the side of where my waist used to be. I made some adjustments. I pulled out a bunch of pairs of soft baggy pants that I never wear but haven’t thrown out either. I put my jeans away for the duration. I even ordered three dresses. To the best of my recollection, I haven’t worn a dress since my granddaughter’s christening, which was just over eleven years ago. I’ve had pants outfits for any weddings I’ve attended in the interim. I wasn’t even sure what size dress to order, but to tell the truth, shopping and trying things on kind of wears me out right now, and anyway, there’s not a lot of choices left in the stores when it comes to summer clothes. I definitely don’t have the kind of energy it takes to search out clearance racks in store after store. So, I found three on the internet and measured myself to pick a size. We’ll see how that worked out in a couple of days. All of them look casual, comfy and roomy enough not to bother the sensitive spot. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get used to dresses. Not to the point of wearing them during seasons that require pantyhose, though. I’m not going back there for anything.

I think the kinder, gentler treatment is paying off already, though. The area in question is shrinking in diameter, at least. However, it was perfectly well expected that it would get a little uncomfortable before it gets better. It has and I can’t find a position to sleep in for long. So here I sit. Not sleeping because of a minor discomfort. That never would have happened when I was thirty-five.